


shyguy118 and magikalgirl

by burninglavender



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Heavy Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-07 03:54:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20303032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burninglavender/pseuds/burninglavender
Summary: Nate just watched the video of his dad and Jules. He's pissed, and he's confused. In his rage he decides to message Jules as shyguy118. He's not sure what will happen, but he knows he has to do something, anything to get close to her.





	shyguy118 and magikalgirl

**Author's Note:**

> Hi y'all, me again. Looks like I've still got momentum. This story is more or less going to stick with canon. My plan is to dive deep into Jules' and Nate's messages to one another in a few separate chapters. Starting of course with a whole lot of angst. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Update: I'm working on writing 3-4 chapters of this story, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to write it all and then start posting. I'm trying to weave together all their messages which is a bit of an undertaking but I'm doing it anyway 🤗

Nate sat at the end of his bed. He clutched the plastic CD case with white knuckles. Fuck, anything but this. His lower lip quivered; he looked up at the ceiling in an attempt to find resolve. He found only the same bald white plaster staring down at him. Nate hated his dad. He kind of hated his whole life. Though he had only put words to this feeling in the last few months, it had laid dormant in him since childhood. Now he was replete with helplessness. Nate's father knew his power over his son. But with this recording, of all the shitty fucking videos in his desk, he had obliterated Nate. 

Nate could no longer avoid his demons. The demons that he had inherited from his father. It was time, Nate knew, to face them. Fuck. He wasn't ready. But he pictured her face, and fucking fathoms deep, all the fuck way down, in whatever dark pit of a heart he had, Nate knew. He would go to the ends of the Earth for her. 

And yet he was stuck. For all Nate's confidence, this bullshit had truly blindsided him. He ran a shaky hand through his hair, sighed. _ Jules, _ he thought, _ how can I tell you _. He'd just have to forget her. Right. Unless… he could play his dad's game. Play Jules' game. And win. 

That was it. 

\---

So let's back up. It was the night of McKay's party. Nate had done his part convincing McKay to host the damn thing, and he had even scored the coke. This party was going to end the summer on the right note. It was going to start his Junior year on the right note. 

Only problem was that Maddy had just broken up with him, again. Yeah, Nate had a bit of a temper. But Maddy was a huge fucking slut. He swore she'd fuck anything with a pulse. Still Nate liked her. She was hot. She fucked like a pornstar. Not that Nate watched porn, not really, except his dad's videos. He knew those by heart. 

Anyway, Nate was at home getting ready for the party pregame. And he was so fucking horny. Usually he invited Maddy over to solve this problem, which was by far the best part of having a girlfriend. But that wasn't an option tonight. He stretched out on his bed and brought his hand down to his hardening cock. Fuck. Nate starting stroking himself, rhythmically, frantically. He pictured Maddy's ass in her little cheer skirt. Oh, Cassie's tits in her bikini. And her naked tits from the slut pages. God that was some good shit. Then he pictured that girl, the new girl who biked around town. Nate loved her tennis skirts. She had strong, skinny legs that pumped up and down as she biked and lifted her skirt just so….fuck. Nate was coming. His eyes shut with his release. Sticky semen made its way across his abs and chest. God, who was she. Nate would find out tonight. 

He cleaned himself up. Railed a line of coke. Screamed at his reflection in the mirror. Nate was on the prowl tonight. He was teeming with power, rage, and lust. He was on the top of his game. Nate was unstoppable. 

\---

"So like, she's a dude?" Maddy gave Kat an attitude-laden stare. 

"Jesus Maddy that's like so uncool. I can't believe they aren't teaching this shit in sex ed." Kat was borderline exasperated. "She was like, born in a body that wasn't like...right for her...and like gender is just a social construct anyway. So I mean I don't totally know how it is, but I'm sure she like knew her body and like the whole boy thing wasn't right. But straight up she's a girl. Jules is a girl."

"Yo I feel that." BB bobbed her head in agreement while releasing a fat vape cloud. "She's cute as hell." 

"For real though. She dresses like she just came out of fucking Tokyo. But she's really nice, I mean I just spent like a whole month with her in summer school. She like moved with her dad from the city after her parents broke up." Kat spoke while scrolling through her Instagram feed. The girls were getting ready for McKay's party at Maddy's place. It had been a slow summer. 

Maddy was hellbent on making Nate jealous tonight. He drove her crazy. He was fucking crazy. Being the object of his attention was exhausting, and Maddy had almost had enough of it. She applied her makeup with extra spiteful care. She was hot, she reminded herself, and Nate couldn't change that. 

Nate wasn't the type to get distracted by other girls. Not really. But there was something about the way he stared down the new girl that made her skin crawl. He had that half-lidded predatorial look in his eye, the one Nate usually saved for her. They had driven past the new girl on her bike last week before Maddy knew who she was. Jules. Ugh. Maddy applied a thick coat of lip gloss and blew a kiss to her reflection. Fuck it. She was hot. No one could change that. 

\---

Nate could honestly say he didn't expect to see her at the party. If he had any actual control over his life he would probably undo everything about that night. Everything being the coke, the liquor, a few beers, a couple joints, and a tidal wave of rage. He'd like to believe all those substances dull the ache of existence. Truth is, Nate had been learning lately that they drag all the pent up bullshit to the surface. Some of his friends had less bullshit to deal with, so they kept living oblivious lives, one party to the next. But somehow the partying got more difficult for Nate, darker. And he hated it. So he partied harder. 

And that's about where he was mentally when he found Maddy fucking Tyler in the pool. Nate felt like he was on fire, and not in the good way. He was white hot flame; he couldn't see through light and smoke. Nate was blind with rage. He was on his way to blacking out, too, when he stormed into the kitchen to pour whatever fucking liquor he could find down his throat. To put out the fire, maybe, but really we all know it just intensifies the flame. 

While Nate was attempting some sort of cope, downing liquor, smashing bottles and the like, there was that girl. The new girl, standing in the corner. Fuck her. Seriously, fuck her. In the heat of the moment he wanted this strange, desirable girl out. No, he wanted her to be seen. Nate put her in the spotlight. He shouted. Who was she, to sneak into this party, after sneaking into his head and his fantasies. Oh, she was hot, sure. She had on that too short dress and too tall platform heels that stirred his guts up just so. Her makeup gave her an angellic glow. But he got close to her and he knew. Nate had seen enough of his daddy's videos to know the type. He would do anything to get this bitch out of his sight. She was everything he despised. Nate was almost ready to kill.

But so was Jules. That was her name. Fire was met with fire when she picked up the knife and drew her own blood. Nate was scared and aroused and scared of his own arousal. In all his life, no one but his father had challenged him like this. Every ounce of darkness inside himself was met in kind when Jules brought down her open wound on Nate's shoulder. He backed down and she left the party. 

That's how they met. 

Later, someone, he couldn't remember who, confirmed what he had already expected. 

"Dude, that girl from the kitchen, she's like new in town. Moved here a couple months ago. But I heard from Cam who heard it from BB that she's like...trans… so like I dunno if she's like anyone's type or anything. Seems kinda fucked up in the head if you ask me." 

Nate did remember not looking this person in the eye, and quite frankly, he outright ignored them. He didn't want to hear it, and I'll tell you why. Nate knew what happened to people like Jules in this town. This town and probably every town in a fifty mile radius, if he had to guess. People like Jules ended up in a motel with his father. With his fingers pulling open their mouths. His rough hands pushing them down on him. And then, they'd be secretly recorded, while his dad fucked them from behind. When Nate thought of Jules starring in one of these secret sessions, he was filled with dread like he had never known. It was a new all-consuming dread that had crept up on him throughout the evening and was vying to burst through to the surface of Nate's actions. He drank to it, he raged, he partied until dawn. 

Looking back on it now, the way he met Jules was so extraordinary that Nate knew their mutual fate was sealed. They were both fucked. Nate lived a lie. Jules dealt only truth as she knew it. 

They were both fucked. 

\---

Going back to where we started, Nate was at home. Trying not to cry, jack off, or pull a gun on his dad. He was sitting perfectly still with his jaw clenched tight. 

When he broke into his dad's stash an hour ago and saw the new CD case, his heart skipped a beat. His fingers shook as he pushed the disc into the drive, so much so that he almost couldn't slide it in. When Jules' image popped up on the screen Nate wanted to puke. Because he knew, remember, he had that abject feeling of dread. Of bats, dozens of fucking bats, crawling around in his guts, making it hard to breathe and see straight. 

So there was Jules, in her purple minidress, fishnet tights (untorn for now), and sparkling makeup. Fuck. She was such a beautiful girl. And that's what she wore the night of McKay's party. Nate forced himself to watch the whole thing. It wasn't like watching those videos of girls he knew in the slut pages. That was so easy. And it wasn't like watching his dad's videos either. That was easy too. Nate treated his viewings of his dad's encounters with a scientific attention to detail. He would sit unmoving, unaroused to absorb every second. Consciously they affected him very little. Subconsciously he was fucked. 

Watching Jules on the screen, it was like every single video of his father's Nate had watched led to this exact moment. It horrified him, because there she was. This girl, this creature from another, more beautiful planet, was bent over and violated by his own father. It was fucked up on so many levels. I mean, Jules was underage. His dad was a fucking predator. His dad had fucking taken Jules, his Jules, stripped her down, and fucked her. On tape no less. The worst part was neither Jules nor his father knew what they had done to Nate. He was broken. His darkest thoughts seeped through the cracks; he broke out in a cold sweat. 

It was time to act. Nate ejected the CD and took it to his room in an icy rage, daring his father to come and get it. He breathed in erratically through his nostrils while he paced. He needed Jules to know what she had done to him, the fucking slut. And he needed his dad to know too. Nate had to get on their lowlife, back alley fuck level. And then it came to him. 

Nate knew the app his dad used to trap his prey. He had even downloaded it before just to see his dad's profile and potential targets. Now, he download it again. He scrolled through until he saw her. MagikalGirl 22/ transgirl visiting planet Earth/ let's talk. God, she didn't fucking need to be on here, why, she was a fucking girl. She would drown in this sea of degenerates like his father and probably way worse. Nate hesitated briefly, his fingers held above the keyboard, poised with indecision. But what did he have to lose? His dad had taken it all. Nate couldn't stop himself, not anymore. He would get inside Jules' head. It felt like the only option. 

Honestly, Nate was confused. He had grown up to his father's videos. In that way they were almost...normal to him. He wasn't sure exactly what we wanted from Jules. Did he want to fuck her? Well, yeah. Did he want to make her suffer? He knew what she was. He had the evidence right here, and boy could he bring her down. Or did he want to know her? Unwrap her, get inside her head, the same way she had unknowingly gotten inside his when she held him at knifepoint and slashed herself open. Like it or not, Jules was special. Jules was different. And if there was something Nate enjoyed, it was a conquest. 

So he typed a message and hit send. Game on. 

\---

A couple of neighborhoods over the ping of a new notification sounds out in Jules' room. She picks up her phone to scroll through Grindr.

**Shyguy118**

18/Cis M New to this. Not out. No Hookups. Looking for someone/something real. 

She swipes to look at the message. 

_ Hey_

She smiles to herself. He's kinda cute.

\----------

Thanks for reading! I hope to have the next chapter out soon. 


End file.
